When you run an online business, there’s pretty standard things you do to generate business: writing blog posts, being active on social media, networking at events and online. When I went on sabbatical in April, I stepped away from all of that into an emptiness, with no specific date for a planned return. I just knew I needed space, something was going to happen, and I would somehow know when to come back.
Having a fluid return date and not forcing or pressuring myself to “work” until I felt inspired to do so was a marked departure from how I’ve operated my whole life. Instead of pushing through to do what I was “supposed” to the “right” way and working hard to get that gold star, I just waited. If I’m really honest, part of me likes the martyr role, sacrificing to get appreciation, and this new way of operating made me feel lazy and self-indulgent.
It was really scary and hard to sit still and wait rather than doing, searching, fixing. I had to just be. Not knowing when my sabbatical would end or what would be on the other side made me feel powerless. But even though I wasn’t doing any of the traditional “income generating” activities, two new clients found their way into my fold. I took it as a sign that I was doing something right even though on paper it was “wrong”.
I kept waiting for this massive onset of clarity, this moment of feeling undeniably ready to move forward.
But it never came.
Instead, I felt a creative urge to start writing and ideas began bubbling up. I started writing, and decided to post this. Now I’m moving forward. Even though I don’t have the crystal clear plan I thought I would have, I feel like I’m being pulled forward. It’s so different from pushing myself.
If you wait to be pulled instead of pushing yourself, you’re naturally prepared for wherever life takes you. (tweet it)
I’d love to know…
Where are you pushing yourself instead of waiting to be pulled?